Wednesday, January 14, 2009

What is Entitlement?

According to Wikipedia, "Entitlement is a guarantee of access to benefits because of rights, or by agreement through law. It also refers, in a more casual sense to someone's belief that one is deserving of some particular reward or benefit.[1] It is often used as a pejorative term in popular parlance (i.e. a 'sense of entitlement').

As our nation's uncertain economic situation unravels, entitlement discussions are becoming commonplace when considering the future direction of social and economic policies. Entitlement concerns have existed for years with expressions such as "the entitlement generation" being assigned to the 20th century's young workforce. Policies affecting families may feel the backlash of this entitlement controversy. Who is entitled to government aid? Why do some feel entitled to assistance? How are families affected by an entitlement mentality?

The following article is a great place for families to explore some negative effects of an entitlement mentality within their families and possible solutions to the problem.

How to keep the 'entitlement epidemic' from infecting your family
Jonathan Burton
Dec 21, 2007
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SAN FRANCISCO (MarketWatch) -- At a time when the coolest electronic gadgets are branded with a self-centered "i," it's no wonder that so many kids and adults believe they're entitled to the best, latest, hippest, greatest -- and to have it first.
Fortunately for material girls and boys, discouraging words like "no" are seldom heard in families nowadays. So it shouldn't be surprising when "iWhine" procures an iPhone or "iWant" produces an iPod.
Nathan Dungan, a
financial adviser in Minneapolis, thinks he has an antidote to this so-called "entitlement epidemic" that he and like-minded financial experts, sociologists and psychologists see sweeping America.
Dungan is promoting a program he launched several years ago called "Share Save Spend," an initiative aimed at changing how families think about
money whether they're wealthy or not. The goal: for parents and children to open up about what money means to them and to teach ways to use money without abusing it.
"Our habits and values can get out of alignment," Dungan says. "We need to step back and make sure we don't get defined by the hyperconsumer culture, and that the choices we're making with our money are also about our values."
Wanting it all now, materialism, and the popular notion that happiness can be bought, keeps people of all backgrounds and income levels from thinking realistically about money -- and themselves. Dungan is encouraging them to reconnect.
"Spending is important, but what about sharing and saving?" Dungan asks. "If that's important, do you want to make sure that's embedded into your decisions?"
Dungan, 42, speaks quickly and earnestly, squeezing a stream of thoughts and opinions into conversation. His missionary zeal becomes clear when you learn that he's the youngest of four children of a financial-services executive mother and a Lutheran pastor father who counseled people with chemical dependency.
"With the blessing of the money comes the curse of the money," Dungan says, "and the lack of planning can have some really harmful effects."
The harshest medicine to combat entitlement, of course, is a disciplined "no." But it's tough to deny others when we also overspend and live beyond our means. Refusing to buy junior a video game to teach a life lesson about money rings flat if you bring home a new set of golf clubs.
Indeed, perhaps the most lasting way to eradicate entitlement is showing gratitude. Appreciating what you have opens the door to more saving and sharing. In truth, this isn't such a simple task, so to counter your family's entitlement epidemic, or to keep the bug at bay, Dungan offers these tips:
1. Be smart shoppers
Stores are great classrooms for teaching about money.
Before you fill the cart, talk about how you got here in the first place, Dungan says. Relate an early memory about earning money. If you patronize businesses that are charitable or support community activities, point that out to your kids. In the check-out line, check out your purchases and make sure they reflect your values.
What if the mall is a family battleground? Suppose you're facing full-court pestering to buy more stuff. Saying "yes" to kids -- provided they use their own money -- can be extremely effective.
Shift responsibility and accountability, Dungan says, and "the level of importance of that purchase drops exponentially."
2. Money doesn't make you
Society tells us how to dress, what to drive, where to go, who's important and who isn't. The password? Money.
Being a conscientious consumer is fine to a point. It's when money consumes you that petty behavior and anxiety surfaces. Dungan cites the research of Timothy Kasser, a psychology professor at Knox College in Galesburg, Ill., which shows that when people focus less on materialism and more on frugality and generosity, they're happier and healthier.
Tell kids that what they have doesn't define who they are, Dungan says. "It's beyond saying 'No,'" he adds. "It's really about boundaries."
Establish those boundaries by talking with your children, in as neutral a way as possible, about pressure to measure up to peers and feelings of inadequacy if they don't. Ask why they want something so badly. Does it fill a void elsewhere? Be honest about your own flashes of envy and wishes for more.
Promote delayed gratification; it might make your kids happier. In a famous
Stanford University experiment, preschool children were told they could have one marshmallow immediately or two if they waited. Patient kids developed greater self-esteem as adults.
3. 'Share Save Spend'
Practically, Dungan's "Share Save Spend" program divides household income between charity, investing and buying. For instance, many families, Dungan says, earmark 25% to sharing, 25% to
savings, and 50% to spending.
On another level, "Share Save Spend" deals with much more than money.
"Share" isn't just about charity and community service; it's sharing within your family and placing the highest value on
communication and honesty. "Save" teaches long-range thinking and drawing a road map to reach your goals. With those two supports firmly in place, "Spend" becomes more about people, places and experiences, and less about trophies.
"It's not about perfection, it's about periodic rebalancing," Dungan says. "We talk about rebalancing portfolios. I also talk about rebalancing financial habits and values."

5 comments:

  1. Marci,
    This is a great article that gets to the core values associated with entitlement and provokes one to think about priorities with money. I like its pragmatic [or simple, yet elegant] way of designing a program that can work to realign values.

    I wonder what roles our schools might play in educating children and teens about money and money management issues. There are other venues, too, but children in all circumstances need money management tools. What do you think?

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  2. Very interesting stuff! I work in a non-profit organization and dealing with the whole idea of entitlement is something that comes up a lot. In discussions between caseworkers and also from the clients themselves. The example of the Ipod and Iphones is an interesting example of just how individualistic our culture really is. I'm interested too in Kathys comment about schools and educating children about money. While I was in high school there wasn't anything geared towards financial education, however, some of the schools here do have classes on budgeting and money management. I wonder if there are any studies on the effectiveness of these classes/programs?

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  3. This is definitely a timely topic. Our society today is definitely about immediate gratification...instant information, instant communication, instant everything. I love the article's no nonsense approach to money management. If more of us in this nation (including individuals and families, not just large corporations and government entities) could live these principles, our current economic situation would look a little different. If the future is to look any brighter, these are concepts that more of us will need to take to heart.

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  4. Marci, what are your thoughts about the role the media and advertising play in the entitlement issue? It seems that an hour a day of education through a local school may not be enough to counter 4 hours of TV viewing Hollywood stars living it up and adverts telling them they can too. Add to this the example of their parents and government and we may be in for the long haul. How do we get parents to make the change?

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  5. The word "No" is an ancient and forgotten and sometimes forbidden word.
    I like the idea of sharing thoughts and ideas about money. I think if you give your kids some money they can "earn" let them save, give, and spend some, then they learn more about money and its real value. They also make decisions they have to live with. My kids get a dollar a week for basic things like getting dressed on their own, not whining, and picking up after themselves or their friends. Many people suggest I am teachign them entitlement for doing things that they should already do. While I think they should do these things, soon the bar will be raised and they will have to do bigger and better things to "earn" their money. One day while shopping with their dollar, my 6 year old son wanted to buy a matchbox car, that was his choice and he had to live with the consequence. HE was excited until he saw my 4 year old daughter buy 2 packs of cookies and some gun with the same dollar. My brother has his kids buy their own clothes with "their" money. It is amazing that all of the sudden they don't "need" the brand names because you can get 3 pair of jeans for the prioe of one. If you have to think about it, live with the consequence, and understand that there is not an unlimited supply, maybe we would all work a little harder when we needed to. I think my kids are entitled to learn from their mistakes when the stakes are not so high.

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